I am afraid to take a peek
My heart’s been playing hide and seek
I do not know what I can do
Or when the time to mourn is through !
Tis all I pray, help me think straight
Perhaps, remember if I ate,
But more than that it’s quite extreme
Life has become a vacant dream.
However much the time may take
I beg You God, give me a break
Teach me to standup on my own
Don’t let my heart turn into stone !
Well, here it is, the early morn
Where shades of night melt into dawn
As shadows pale then disappear
Into the light now grown more near.
When I was young I found that joy
So vital to each girl and boy
My heart grew wings, I learned to fly
To heights that reached beyond the sky.
How little did I know back then
It never would return again
And wishes I’d been hoping for
All failed to knock at my front door !
My heart so full I cannot bear
The fact that you will not be there
There’s no warm seat by the fireside
Or any joy I feel inside.
The chimney’s cold, no fire is lit
I am so lost where e’er I sit
However long will this pain last
What will it take before it’s passed ?
I do not know, not you nor I
Or all the angels in the sky
What occurs when a loved one dies
And there’s no way left for goodbyes !
I cannot bear this sadness
It tears my heart to bits
I need no cloak of gladness
This garment never fits.
There is no real contentment
I shall not rest in peace
I can’t forget resentment
Until I find release.
There is no happy ending
We’ll never meet again
No sense in my pretending
There’s no remember when !
I really don’t know how to hide
This sadness that I feel inside
I’ve tried so hard to do it right
E’en though I’m lost, night after night.
The ache is there and won’t subside
And all because my child has died
Love’s all we’ve got no matter what
The grief remains though we may not.
I love you now, I always will
Until my heart at last is still !
Oh sad this time that’s now begun
Without an option, no not one,
There’ll be no babies that you’ll see
Upon your lap or on your knee.
You’ll never walk the marriage aisle
To see your daughters’ precious smile
Behind each veil the world may see
Such scenes will ever hide from thee.
We’re all so sorry you are gone
There’s no choice left but carry on !
Hark, what is it that I now hear
The sound of sleigh bells on my ear
Their ringing sounds so ever sweet
Oh how I pray they do repeat.
The tinkling of the bells anon
Reminding all that time moves on
Twill come and go and leave behind
Those ashes of another kind !
WHERE IS THE END OF SADNESS ?
It happens every day I wake
My early morning “thankful” break
When I meet God ’bout halfway there
And offer up a simple prayer.
There can be tears I must admit
Sometimes I find it hard to quit
But even harder through the day
When I would rather run away.
That’s not an action worthy of
The special depths of mother love
I’ll have to learn as best I can
That God must have a better plan !
My heart is full, I cannot bear
The loss of ones no longer there
My day begins with hope and prayer
Away, the gloom of dark despair.
With those now gone, we shall compare
A memory that all may share
Tis now, by chance won’t seem unfair
We’ll carry on, but do we dare !
Our world is made of fantasy
Of wishes, dreams and ecstasy
Of worry, hope and dignity
With many other traits you’ll see
Despite how we may try agree
We are awash and blind asea !
Each time that I sit down to eat
I notice there’s an unfilled seat
It’s been like that for quite awhile
I don’t feel ready yet to smile.
I wish your laugh and wisdom’s word
Were still the pleasantries I’d heard
For times have changed, you’re gone away
I miss you more, day after day !
Who’d ever guess that I should be
Alone at last upon life’s sea,
I never thought that I would share
My dinners with an empty chair !
The dreams we knew when we were small
To be quite true, who can recall
These days long gone, like those forgot
Midst times that we remember not ?
There are some hours passed in content
Twixt those that were uncaring spent
A myriad of loving thought
That fills our lives with lessons taught.
Shall we admit our passions loss
Or ignore bad behavior’s cost,
What will it take to understand
Too much of life is underhand ?
There are no bridges left to cross
Nor any mountains left to climb
It’s too late now to pitch and toss
Because we have run out of time.
There is no point in looking back
The curtains drawn, the page is blank
The horse got spooked and left the track
And no one’s here we need to thank.
We have no reason now to try
I cannot ask the how and when
Believe that love just passed us by
And will not come this way again !
When first I held you in my arms
My sweetest child so full of charm
You stole my heart and my soul too
Like no one person e’er could do
I never thought that life would be
Full of this joy you’ve brought to me.
In all the years you did not fail
Or steal the wind out of my sail
We’ve weathered every sort of storm
And kept our lives about the norm
Tis tragic that you couldn’t stay
Wherein at last my heart will lay !
Today’s a day for reveries
Of love and tears and memories
Of sadness and reproach, it seems
Of fear and of aborted dreams.
I’ve lived a life so full of pain
And will not pass this way again
I wait here in the silence of
My lonliness and derth of love.
Dear Lord, protect me from myself
And place me on the “keepsafe” shelf
I know Your heart’s with every child
In manner kind, loving and mild !
The dark of night moves in with ease
And snuggles till the morning breeze
The angels of the night will fade
And rest until the evening shade.
The dawn arrives to welcome day
The world’s alive and kneels to pray
God bless us all and make us whole
Improve our times and save our soul !
I see the rooftops through the trees
The sun now bouncing off the eaves
The sky is clear and ever bright
I do not see a bird in sight
The silence echoes in my ears
Allaying all my aged fears
But soon the sun must fade away
To morph into some yesterday
My life continues as it goes
Just on and on till heaven knows !
What is this madness that we face
That’s taking up our total space
There is great danger spreading here
A danger that we all must fear.
Beware, because the Devil’s come
He is destroying everyone
This is a warning that’s come late
When ever will this hate abate ?
Oh Blessed Lord, we beg You please
Observe Your children on their knees
Reach out to all who are in pain
To save them from this world insane !
